Not that I have anything against Goths, mind you. I'm a closet Goth myself, and I understand the charm that that trend has. However, it's easy enough to spot the difference between a Goth, and a kid who's just trying really really hard to be an Angster.
Yes, that's a new word. I made it up myself. Do you like it?
An Angster is a snot nosed kid who's found his niche. He's too cowardly to be a true Goth, but too involved in his own pain to be "normal." He's usually the type who tries to cover himself with the trappings of being dark and broody but only comes out as being a) spoiled b) stupid or c) both.
Most of the time, the Angster phase is forgivable. Heck, I've been through the Angster phase myself. I was even a "C" class Angster I'm sure that a lot of people have gone through that phase as well. It's all part of that "finding your sense of identity" thing. The sad part is that some people don't grow up. They choose not to. Instead, they prefer being an Angster. They prefer being a nuisance and a source of hurt and pain in those around them.
Goths grow up to be sober, artistic and stoically optimistic, knowing that adversity is something that is natural in life, and that they go on. In this life or the next. ;)
Angsters grow up to be abusive significant others, cry babies, and unreliable co-workers. They ruin family harmony (God, that sounded so Chinese of me) and most often make life miserable even to total strangers.
In short, they're selfish. Unable to see past their own situation, and unable to take life as it is, they retreat into that behavior hoping fervently that someone will make it all right again. If you're an Angster (and you haven't closed this window and typed out an evil retort at this post complete with a link,) take a hint. Grow Up.
Life isn't fair, because you aren't fair.
Repeat that to yourself, remember it well. Life sucks only for those who find ways to make it suck for them. For everyone else, there's reality.
As an aside to this whole mess about Angsters: here's a little something straight from a guy who knew what he was doing, Siddhartha Gautama himself :
The Four Noble Truths:
1. The Truth of Suffering, or Misery (Duhkhasatya), that life is suffering, including birth, disease, old age, and death;
2. The Truth of the Cause (Samudayasatya), that suffering is caused by desire (tr.s.n.â) and by ignorance (avidyâ), which ultimately depend on each other;
3. The Truth of Cessation (Nirodhasatya), that suffering can be ended if its causes, desire and ignorance, are removed; and
4. The Truth of the Way (Mârgasatya), which is the Middle Way, between the extremes of asceticism and indulgence, or the 8 fold way:
- Right Knowledge (or Views), samyagdr.s.t.i,
- Right Resolve, samyaksan.kalpa,
- Right Speech, samyagvâk,
- Right Conduct (or Action), samyakkarma,
- Right Livelihood, samyagjîva,
- Right Effort, samyagvyâyâma,
- Right Mindfulness, samyaksmr.ti, and
- Right Meditation (or Concentration), samyaksamâdhi.
1. Life sucks
2. Life sucks because we assume that we're being abused, or we're not getting what we deserve.
3. Life will stop sucking if we recognize the fact that we are in no position to dictate what we deserve and what we don't.
4. So the best way to go about life is to be nice to others, work hard, remember that things don't always go your way, and remember to be thankful if things do.
12 comments:
i totally agree with you
i'd like to place a link to this post on my blog, if i may
Hi raymond!
No problem, feel free to link away. :)
Some teens are just immature, trying to pull off a Sean Penn on all of us.
On my opinion though: "Angsters" are those people that wants to laugh at a joke, but swallows it because they want to be as angsty as possible... Pain and all that crap, and they want to show the whole wide world about their pain.
But there are those people that laugh at your joke, indeed joke around even... but they never really laugh deep inside. These are the brave people that keep their pain inside, for them (and them alone) to sort through.
I think angsters are begging to be saved from their pain, trying to make it obvious for people to come over and fawn over them... maybe that's why I hate them. >:(
But there are those people that laugh at your joke, indeed joke around even... but they never really laugh deep inside. These are the brave people that keep their pain inside, for them (and them alone) to sort through.
Hmm... I acknowledge the virtue of having enough personal strength to face your problems and fears, but I don't feel that it would be wise to consider the act of hiding one's pain, or as you put it: "never really laugh deep inside" is a good thing.
There's a reason we have friends after all. There are ways to work out your personal problems with the help of friends without being Angsters. Angsters go to people to dramatize their pain, playing it up and milking it for all it's worth.
Most people don't have to be that way to work through their problems, with or without their friends.
I guess that all boils down to the same conundrum everyone is debating about: "No man is an island." (And in case you were wondering, I'm not an Angster...)
The classic idea of strength in dependence, to the more contemporary belief of power through independence.
Don't get me wrong, I totally agree that man needs the support of his friends - but I have learned through the years that we can never really rely on these relationships. They are the "handles" in a long staircase, they can only help you to climb, not climb the staircase for you.
Ultimately we have to rely on our own strength to succeed, and hopefully survive. If we can rely on friends while they are there, great. But there comes a time when they can no longer be there.
I doubt anyone truly learned the answer to the puzzle. But in relying on myself alone, I have found time and again that: I am rarely disappointed when friends cannot be there for me. But I become exceedingly grateful whenever they can.
There is only one person in the whole world who I can tolerate being Angsty and that's Keanu Reeves, because (1) he has suffered a lot of very unfortunate events in his life to make you want to question whether or not God hates you for a reason and (2) he looks good being angsty. In fact, I can't imagine him not being angsty, since he makes angst (and black leather) look so good. :D
Just a light hearted comment. :D
Kitty,
For some reason I think Constantine has raised you opinion of the man. ;)
Anonymous,
Now that you've further explained your point, I see where you're coming from.
I will agree that one needs personal strength to overcome adversity, but from what I read of your statements, you seem fixated on hurt for some reason.
"But there are those people that laugh at your joke, indeed joke around even... but they never really laugh deep inside."and
"But in relying on myself alone, I have found time and again that: I am rarely disappointed when friends cannot be there for me."both seem to indicate wisdom borne from the avoidance of pain. Have your experiences been so hurtful that they have caused you to put up an armor of indifference?
First and foremost, I'm sorry - since this is your blog after all. I didn't expect it to go this far, but I have a nature to at least drive my point home.
To answer your question, yes, I have had some pain in the past - but I've chosen to leave it there. They shape me toward what I am today - they give character, without taking away any in return. I still am human after all. My friend calls it "baggage" - and somehow it does drag us down, whether we like it or not.
I respect my friends, and I love each and everyone of them. But I cannot fully trust them to catch me when I fall. Whatever happens, friends are also people too - with their own problems to deal with. I experienced that once - when I needed them the most, they weren't there, always empty phone rings and unanswered doors.
I had to learn how to stand up by myself, without them. That's all I wanted to say. And it makes my stomach churn to see people begging for help, making up dramatics that heighten their pain which isn't truly that painful.
I found a certain "kinship" with your article, and I was glad I wasn't alone in thinking it as well. I'm sorry if it sounded any other way.
Anonymous,
I'm glad that the article provoked such in you. I respect your inner strength and know better than to tell you which is better. Your experiences shape who you are and who you choose to be and with that, I hope nothing but the best in your endeavors.
I absolutely agree with you , JAy. Just the other day I was talking to my fiance about overrated and nauseating perpetual "goth whinings." I honestly feel detached from this subculture already. It's more of an entertainment and dark amusement (esp. literature and music) for me rather than a way of life. Besides, "goth" is something we made up back in the 80s to deviate from common people. But there is nothing so special and rare about these eccentrics when you isolate them in their own subculture. You'll see them as typical when you're used to this society. They embellish "gothicism" with poetic lines and graceful tragedies. If you strip these qualities, it's nothing but something we made up to feel different and unique. "Goths" spawned from a musical identity and incorporated a sorrowful/morose persona. From architectural designs to dark literature, this subculture embraces subjects of melancholy and nostalgia.
(Historically speaking, goths are east germanic people. So I don't think it's substantially appropriate to say that anyone who wears dark make-up and black clothes and is drawn to the occult and dark arts with suicidal tendencies, are "true " goths)---- Shar
wtf, just keep the music playing.
I absolutely agree with you , JAy. Just the other day I was talking to my fiance about overrated and nauseating perpetual "goth whinings." I honestly feel detached from this subculture already. It's more of an entertainment and dark amusement (esp. literature and music) for me rather than a way of life. Besides, "goth" is something we made up back in the 80s to deviate from common people. But there is nothing so special and rare about these eccentrics when you isolate them in their own subculture. You'll see them as typical when you're used to this society. They embellish "gothicism" with poetic lines and graceful tragedies. If you strip these qualities, it's nothing but something we made up to feel different and unique. "Goths" spawned from a musical identity and incorporated a sorrowful/morose persona. From architectural designs to dark literature, this subculture embraces subjects of melancholy and nostalgia.
(Historically speaking, goths are east germanic people. So I don't think it's substantially appropriate to say that anyone who wears dark make-up and black clothes and is drawn to the occult and dark arts with suicidal tendencies, are "true " goths)---- Shar
wtf, just keep the music playing.
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