Well, it looks like I've pulled off part of my sleep pattern modification program, having spent the entire night awake until now. I'll hit the sack at around 6 or so, and hopefully my body will get enough sleep to prepare me for the night shift training that's starting tonight.
I've had some time to think about what I wrote last night. I guess I needed to blow off some steam... Thankfully the blog is designed for this kind of stuff. At least I don't have to take up too much of other people's time with my bitching. :p
So to make up for it, here's a cute and simple strip from Sinfest!
Monday, June 14, 2004
Sunday, June 13, 2004
Tilting at windmills for all the right reasons
No sleep
No sleep until I'm done with finding the answer
Won't stop
Won't stop before I find the cure for this cancer
Sometimes I feel like going down, I'm so disconnected
Somehow I know that I am haunted to be wanted
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows all my life
In the shadows by The Rasmus
----
Sometimes I wish that I could change the world.
Sometimes I feel that I could take away pain.
Sometimes I think that I can give all the answers.
Sometimes I'm told that I'm just fooling myself.
It's hard living a life where you just want other people to be happy. I've always been accused of being too much of a pushover and of trying too hard to please everyone. I think that they might be right.
I get twinges of guilt when I see someone I consider to be a friend struggling through a situation. I feel the call to reach out and help in any way possible...
Even if it may be wrong for me to do so.
Maybe I'm a wimp. Maybe I'm a pushover. Maybe I find gratification and some semblance of place in the world by the way that I am percieved. Perhaps this is all a little selfish streak in me that wants to be noticed and praised for being a good little boy. Or it could even be the plain vanilla explanation that I just want to help.
A good friend of mine dubbed it the "Hero complex". I think she hit it right on the head. There's a little buzz you get when you help people out, and there's a corresponding pain of guilt when you feel that you're responsible for someone else's suffering.
Maybe I should learn to care selectively.
That might do the trick.
Care only when it is convenient to do so.
Help only when you will not lose anything while doing so.
Listen to those who would be able to repay you for your kindess.
Expect something in return.
Yeah, right.
I'm not like that.
No sleep until I'm done with finding the answer
Won't stop
Won't stop before I find the cure for this cancer
Sometimes I feel like going down, I'm so disconnected
Somehow I know that I am haunted to be wanted
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows all my life
In the shadows by The Rasmus
----
Sometimes I wish that I could change the world.
Sometimes I feel that I could take away pain.
Sometimes I think that I can give all the answers.
Sometimes I'm told that I'm just fooling myself.
It's hard living a life where you just want other people to be happy. I've always been accused of being too much of a pushover and of trying too hard to please everyone. I think that they might be right.
I get twinges of guilt when I see someone I consider to be a friend struggling through a situation. I feel the call to reach out and help in any way possible...
Even if it may be wrong for me to do so.
Maybe I'm a wimp. Maybe I'm a pushover. Maybe I find gratification and some semblance of place in the world by the way that I am percieved. Perhaps this is all a little selfish streak in me that wants to be noticed and praised for being a good little boy. Or it could even be the plain vanilla explanation that I just want to help.
A good friend of mine dubbed it the "Hero complex". I think she hit it right on the head. There's a little buzz you get when you help people out, and there's a corresponding pain of guilt when you feel that you're responsible for someone else's suffering.
Maybe I should learn to care selectively.
That might do the trick.
Care only when it is convenient to do so.
Help only when you will not lose anything while doing so.
Listen to those who would be able to repay you for your kindess.
Expect something in return.
Yeah, right.
I'm not like that.
Saturday, June 12, 2004
In tribute to the Batman Family
I've always thought that the coolest thing in mainstream comic books was the Gotham universe. Here's a little pic showing the current crop of people which are making waves in Gotham, though I have to admit that Catwoman's new "goggle" costume seems a little... off to me. Also included are some of my other favorites, Barbara Gordon as the Oracle, Tim Drake as Robin, Nightwing and Helena Bertinelli as the Huntress.
I'm actually rather tempted to see if I can dig up the Hush storyline sometime.
Friday, June 11, 2004
24 and going...
Great, 24 now and still going. :p
I guess nothing much to write about honestly, aside from the fact that I've managed to get my co-worker's deadjournal address and I'm putting it up on my sidebar as a link. Shar's a pretty cool girl, and from the looks of it, she does poetry a hell of a lot better than I do. Which is probably also why I stick to prose.
For other links, here's Lara's website. Lara was our instructor for the Sykes Core Skills Training module, and it turns out that she's friends with more than a couple of AEGIS people, Adrian, Nabs and Tommy Lim. Small world, I guess.
---
I really should get back to writing. Maybe living with only the night to guide me will help out in bringing the angsty, moody, and melodramatic stuff out of me. ;) I'll end up as a coffee zombie, with dark circles under my bloodshot eyes, my hair haggard and unkempt, drooping over my face as I walk down the streets of Makati.
I can't wait.
Then again, I have to admit that Gothic stuff has it's appeal. I'm not a full goth by any means, but I find the culture fascinating. Then again, I'm a big fan of the whole World of Darkness, so big surprise, right?
I guess nothing much to write about honestly, aside from the fact that I've managed to get my co-worker's deadjournal address and I'm putting it up on my sidebar as a link. Shar's a pretty cool girl, and from the looks of it, she does poetry a hell of a lot better than I do. Which is probably also why I stick to prose.
For other links, here's Lara's website. Lara was our instructor for the Sykes Core Skills Training module, and it turns out that she's friends with more than a couple of AEGIS people, Adrian, Nabs and Tommy Lim. Small world, I guess.
---
I really should get back to writing. Maybe living with only the night to guide me will help out in bringing the angsty, moody, and melodramatic stuff out of me. ;) I'll end up as a coffee zombie, with dark circles under my bloodshot eyes, my hair haggard and unkempt, drooping over my face as I walk down the streets of Makati.
I can't wait.
Then again, I have to admit that Gothic stuff has it's appeal. I'm not a full goth by any means, but I find the culture fascinating. Then again, I'm a big fan of the whole World of Darkness, so big surprise, right?
Thursday, June 10, 2004
A small message of thanks
Hey guys!
It's my birthday today, and I'd just like to take a little time to post a great big THANK YOU to everyone around me, for being there, and making me happy to be alive this day, and looking forward to the future. :)
It's my birthday today, and I'd just like to take a little time to post a great big THANK YOU to everyone around me, for being there, and making me happy to be alive this day, and looking forward to the future. :)
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Sudden updates...
Hey guys!
Been a little busy to actually post stuff over here thanks to getting into Sykes as a Customer Service Representative. The training's pretty extensive, and the actual Product Training is going to take a few more weeks.
---
Seeing Alex's menu of games, I figured I should list mine as well...
Games I'm running:
Ravenloft: Chronicles of the Penitent
Legend of the Five Rings
Games I've started:
Exalted: Hammer of the Gods
Adventure! - Z is for Zeppelin!
Games I plan to run:
Mage: the Ascension
Not much yet, but I'd better get to finishing them eventually. :)
Been a little busy to actually post stuff over here thanks to getting into Sykes as a Customer Service Representative. The training's pretty extensive, and the actual Product Training is going to take a few more weeks.
---
Seeing Alex's menu of games, I figured I should list mine as well...
Games I'm running:
Ravenloft: Chronicles of the Penitent
Legend of the Five Rings
Games I've started:
Exalted: Hammer of the Gods
Adventure! - Z is for Zeppelin!
Games I plan to run:
Mage: the Ascension
Not much yet, but I'd better get to finishing them eventually. :)
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Now this is cool...
You are most like Robin! A leader and fearless by
nature, you tend to dive straight into
something without thinking. You have a hard
time trusting your friends sometimes and you
are extremely serious when you have to. You
don't like being compared to someone you are a
rival with and sometimes your temper gets the
best of you. Out of all of your friends you
might be the one who dreams to be leader or is
the leader. Whatever the reason sometimes you
need to look before you leap.
Which Teen Titans Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
----
Hehe, I've always thought Robin was cool. :) Thanks to Mitchie-Pooh! for the quiz. :)
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